Tea and a Truth Biscuit:
The Truth About Holiday Gatherings — It’s Not Your Family, It’s Your Programming
Here’s your piping hot Truth Biscuit for today:
If the thought of spending three days with your family makes you sweat like a sinner in a revival tent, congratulations — you’re not broken. You’re not dramatic. You’re not “too sensitive.”
You’re programmed.
Holiday gatherings don’t create chaos.
They reveal the bullsh*t that built your emotional operating system.
You walk into your childhood home and — BAM — your fully grown, therapy-invested, shadow-work-savvy self gets shoved back into the emotional body of a 13-year-old who still can’t breathe when Aunt Linda asks why you’re “still single,” “still vegan,” or “still not medicating your feelings like everyone else.”
Welcome to the annual Spiritual Hunger Games.
Sip your tea, babe.
We’re about to break this sh*t down.
Why the Holidays Trigger the F*ck Out of You
Your family isn’t evil (well… most of them).
They are the architects of your programming — the original software developers of your psyche.
They taught you:
- what was acceptable
- how to behave
- which parts of you were “too much”
- and exactly what you had to suppress to belong
You didn’t choose those beliefs — you inhaled them like secondhand smoke.
So when the holidays roll in, and the smells, ornaments, and familiar voices start showing up like ghosts of conditioning past, your nervous system doesn’t see:
grown, evolved, self-aware you
It sees:
“Oh sh*t — the people who built my internal operating system have assembled. Assume positions. Stay agreeable. Don’t start sh*t. Don’t upset anyone. OMFG do not mention politics.”
Sound familiar?
It’s not dysfunction.
It’s programmining.
And this is exactly what Holistic Scaffolding™ was designed to dismantle, reroute, and rebuild — one Truth Biscuit at a time.
Wisdom Wands: Tools for When the Sh*tstorm Starts
Let’s get something f*cking clear:
Humor isn’t cute here — it’s a survival skill.
Your nervous system doesn’t need another affirmation; it needs weapons-grade tools that help you hold your center when the holiday circus starts reenacting Act I of your childhood trauma.
Enter the Holiday Survival Guide — a shameless arsenal of Wisdom Wands that keep your sanity intact without you needing to chug eggnog, hide in the bathroom, or spiritually bypass yourself into oblivion.
Here’s a tease — and yes, I’m giving you only one:
🪄 The Mute Button
When someone starts droning on about sh*t you didn’t ask for and never needed to know, don’t engage. Don’t defend. Don’t explain.
Just mentally press mute.
Their lips move. Their voice disappears.
Your peace stays on the throne.
That’s just one Wand. One.
Imagine what happens when you stack an entire toolkit of these micro-boundaries disguised as magic — including the one that neutralizes unsolicited advice, the one that keeps you from reacting to passive-aggressive comments, and the one that lets you exit conversations faster than Santa hits the chimney.
Want the rest of them?
👇 This is where the real fun begins.
🔥 Download the Holiday Survival Guide (Free PDF)
No upsell.
No funnel.
No bullshIt.
Just sh*t that works — so you don’t lose your mind while the family reenacts your origin story like it’s a holiday pageant gone rogue.
A Word About the Black Sheep
If you’ve ever felt like the odd one out — the one who sees the family dynamics for what they actually are — let me give you a truth injection:
You’re not the family disappointment.
You’re the evolutionary upgrade.
You weren’t born to repeat patterns.
You were born to interrupt them.
That’s why the Holiday Survival Guide ends with the Black Sheep Badge of Courage — not a metaphor, not a participation trophy, but a f*cking initiation into the lineage of humans who refuse to keep living the same story.
Wear it proudly.
You earned that sh*t.
Truth Biscuit Crumbs
The holidays are not a test to see if you’re healed.
They are your annual practicum in self-ownership.
Repeat after me:
I am not here to be who they remember.
I am here to be who I became.
And if Uncle Tom tells you to pull his finger?
Mute.
Button.
Always.
🔥 Download the Holiday Survival Guide (Free PDF)
I love all you people.
Love and ((HUGS)),
Laura