The Mirror Never Lies

The Mirror Never Lies: How Triggers Reflect the Work We All Need to Do

Let me start by saying this: I’m not perfect. Far from it. I’m learning, stumbling, and growing right alongside you. And I’m honored to be in this space where I get to share those lessons—sometimes messy, sometimes profound—as they unfold.

Recently, it’s become glaringly clear to me that everything happening in my life is a reflection of the work I still need to do. I know, I say this all the time: It’s an inside job. Whatever triggers you is pointing to your unhealed sh*t.* And while I’m pretty good at dishing out that Wisdom Nugget, my human self doesn’t always follow it as well as I’d like.

Here’s what’s hit me lately: I’ve been triggered. A lot. And those triggers have been gifts wrapped in irritation and frustration. They’ve forced me to look at how I judge others. Oh, Christ on a cracker, it’s humbling to realize I’m no better; I am no different. 

I notice how people pick sides—causes, religions, political parties—and I’ve judged them for that. But here’s the kicker: I’ve picked a side, too. I’ve chosen the “do the work” side, and I’ve found myself getting frustrated, even angry, with those who don’t. Self-righteous anger is still anger, and it’s been shining a big ol’ spotlight on my own judgment.

And then there’s fear. Oh, Buddha on a biscuit, have I had to confront my own. I judge others for being afraid, but the truth is, I’m afraid, too. Afraid for humanity. Afraid for the people who continue to slumber and stay asleep while the world screams for awakening,

I’ve also been guilty of falling into the “Should” trap:

• People should wake up.
• People should do the work.
• People should feel the urgency I feel.

It’s so easy to stand on my soapbox and scream about what others should be doing. But in doing so, I’ve become exactly what I judge. The truth is, I’m no different. I find myself thinking, It’ll all be better when…

• When people wake the f*ck up.
• When people take responsibility for their own healing.
• When people do their own f*cking work!

Sure, I don’t expect someone external to fix my stuff. I know better than that. But I have this deep urgency for humanity, this relentless belief that we must wake up. And yet, here I am, still wrestling with my own judgments, triggers, and fears.

This realization has been another layer of awakening for me, another chance to look in the mirror and own my sh*t. It’s humbling, it’s raw, and it’s real. I am you, and you are me. We’re not so different, and none of us are perfect.

Oh, and Ick! A New Layer of Awareness

Here’s the next level of my awareness, and it’s a doozy: my human is still judging, and – brace yourself – I “hate” her for it. That’s right, I catch myself turning the sharp edges of judgment inward:

• You’re supposed to be leading by example.
• You’re just as judgmental as the folks you judge!
• You’re not that wise.

This is where my Holistic Scaffolding™ moves out of the background and takes center stage. When I’m in this space, one of the most transformative platforms – Accepting All of You – comes into play. It’s here that I spend some of the most personal, unfiltered time with myself.

There are parts of Laura I still don’t accept. I still “hate” parts of me, and that’s hard to admit. This is my learning edge. The uncomfortable truth is that self-judgment is just another form of separation, and it’s a call to deepen my inner work.

But here’s the beauty of Holistic Scaffolding™: it gives me the tools to face these parts of myself with compassion. Using various Wisdom Wands, I’m able to chip away at the resistance, soften my perspective, and grow in ways I didn’t think possible. It’s messy, humbling, and oh-so-human, but it’s also where I surrender to the mystery and transformation continues.

This journey is ongoing, and the work never really ends. But every time I step into that space of acceptance, I move closer to embodying the wisdom I share. And for that, I’m grateful. And I am grateful for you, the ones reading these words.

I love all you people. 

Laura Foster